My plan for this new blog is to write about writing. I’ve been a writer most of my life, mostly in marketing by trade, but in my dreams I’m a published poet and novelist. Only, like so many who dream of writing, I don’t write as often as I “should.” I think about it a lot, but actually sitting down to write something creative isn’t something I do often.
Over the past several months I decided to get back to poetry writing, something I haven’t done in nearly 20 years. Back in college as an English Lit major I devoured poetry and classic literature, imagining myself in some far-off land drinking coffee and spouting off poems, reading through sunny afternoons and spending my evenings drinking wine and eating decadent meals with interesting people who loved all of the things I adored.
In reality, I graduated from college, got married, had children, and moved farther and farther away from wherever that far-off land may have been. I have absolutely no regrets and cherish my family beyond measure. In fact, I’ve focused so much on my family that it became my new dream. They are my world, but as I age I’m becoming acutely aware that my world is changing. I need something for myself, something that brings me joy independent from any other person, something from within.
I’ve held several jobs over the past 20-ish years, including self-employment to fulfill other goals I’d set for myself. Marketing became the main focus of my career. That wasn’t something I’d planned, but because of my love for writing and the ease in which it comes to me, I simply fell into it. Creating content, explaining and educating through my words, that became my work.
Then, last summer, I found myself without a job and decided to focus on building a passion project into a business. A few years back, to satisfy a personal interest, I became certified in nutrition and personal training and started sharing my knowledge on social media. Newly unemployed, I threw myself into helping women to improve their health through nutrition and fitness with personalized coaching. I thought it was what I wanted, and that I could make a difference and a living. My passion dissolved quickly, along with my resolve to work for myself. Yet the current job market is a beast, and with every rejection my self-worth and mental health took a hit.
I’m someone who typically can find a silver lining but it’s become more and more of a challenge as the months have passed. Finding appropriate job listings, going through the application process, and interviewing became like a full-time job that was completely unfulfilling. I realized sometime after the new year that I needed to find a balance between what was necessary (the job hunt and associated activities) and what was needed. As it turns out, my old love for literature and writing resurfaced and reminded me that it was exactly what I needed to feel like myself again.
I did eventually find a new job, one that aligns with my skils and interests. I’m learning to make space for reading and writing around my work days, and I’ve found it’s been great for stress relief and grounding myself. Poetry in particular has been a fantastic outlet for me. I can’t say whether I’m any good at it, but writing poems comes easily to me and gives me a sense of purpose and satisfaction that I’ve rarely felt from other activities.
Having this blog gives me the freedom and platform to share about this process, in hopes that I’ll connect with others who are discovering or re-discovering their love for creating and consuming great writing. I no longer want to be someone who merely thinks about writing, dreaming about “someday.” I’m committed to sharing essays, poems, and perhaps other creations here as I continue to learn and grow as a writer, a reader, and a human. I hope you’ll find interest and inspiration here and, if you do, please subscribe and/or share.